


Bittersweet melancholy

by RamIsAway



Category: Digimon - All Media Types
Genre: 02 kids are 4 years younger than Taichi, Absent Parents, Alternate Universe, Angst, Asthmatic Izumi Koushirou, Asthmatic Takaishi Takeru, Bad Parenting, Blood and Injury, Boys In Love, Boys in Skirts, Daisuke is a dumbass, Dont be like Taichi, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Family Member Death, Fist Fights, Guardian AU, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by a Cavetown Song, Ishida Yamato is a good friend, Izumi Koushirou is baby, Japan's school system is confusing, Ken is tired, Kido Jou is baby, Koushirou is 16, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Not Beta Read, Not really but thats okay, Pining, Polyamory, Poor Self Care, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, She will never stop though, Taichi gets into a lot of fights, Taichi has three guardians, Taichi is 17, Taichi stop drinking youre 17!!!!, Taichi take better care of yourself!!!, Takenouchi Sora is tired of taking care of everybody all the time, Takeru is a dumbass, They in high school babeyyyyy, Underage Drinking, Yagami Taichi has issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:06:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24799678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RamIsAway/pseuds/RamIsAway
Summary: In which the digimon are the children's guardians, Taichi has somehow ended up with three, and there's a cute redheaded boy.
Relationships: Ichijouji Ken/Motomiya Daisuke | Davis Motomiya/Takaishi Takeru | T.K. Takaishi, Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida & Takaishi Takeru | T.K. Takaishi, Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida & Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya, Ishida Yamato | Matt Ishida/Kido Jou | Joe Kido, Izumi Koushirou | Izzy Izumi/Yagami Taichi | Tai Kamiya, Tachikawa Mimi/Takenouchi Sora
Comments: 21
Kudos: 27





	1. Three for one and polka-dot sweaters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theres three monsters in his house and a new boy in school.
> 
> He's so tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya! This fic was inspired by Boys will be bugs and many other cavetown songs! Go check em out if you haven't, I'll list the biggest inspo's at the bottom!

Taichi is tired. He's only eleven and yet he's.. so tired. He thinks, distantly, that he shouldn't be, he should be happier like all the other kids in his class. He should be. He isn't.

His eyelids droop, listening to the teacher go on and on about some math thing he doesn't have the brain capacity to understand. He wants to sleep.

 _"Taichi."_ Sora hisses out a whisper, kicking his leg. " _Do **not** fall asleep again." _

He groans, shooting her a glare, although secretly he's thankful. Falling asleep in the same class for the third day in a week would be.. not good, and its only four days into the week.

He wishes he could get a better sleep.

-

He comes home to a quiet house, as usual, his mother and father both absorbed themselves in their work after.. the incident.

He sighs and lugs his overly heavy backpack to his room, leaving it on the floor once he gets inside and closes the door behind himself.

Ugh.

"Hi!"

He almost falls backwards in his panic, noticing the pink thing sitting on his bed that was most definitely not there when he left this morning, and it most definitely just spoke to him.

"I'm Koromon!" the pink thing continues, either ignoring or not caring about Taichi's panic. "I'm your Gaurdian, Taichi!" 

He blinks slowly. Wasn't having a Gaurdian extremely uncommon?

"Wha-" he starts, only to be cut off. "And this is Tsunomon and Tanemon!" Koromon continues rather loudly, and he notices the two other things in his bed. For once, he's glad his parents aren't home. "They're Gaurdians too! But uh.. not yours, something went wrong and they lost their way to their children, so.. they'll be here until they find them!" 

That is.. a lot of information to take it. "Oh." He rubs his head, trying to absorb all the information into his exhausted brain. "I- that can happen?" 

"Rarely." Tsunomon confirms. "But yes, it can."

"Am I dreaming?" Taichi asks, plopping down heavily into his desk chair. It creaks unhappily below him. "Or hallucinating?" 

Tanemon makes a soft, slightly irritated sound. "Of course not!" They squeal. "We're real. I can bite you if you need me to confirm it!"

"Ugh, no thanks." He grumbles, flopping over to lay partially on his desk. "Can you guys do my homework?"

"No." Tsunomon states flatly. "But, we can help you with it if you ask us to. We will _not_ just give away the answers, Koromon."

"Oh come on! He should be-"

The rest of the conversation is drowned out as he begins to slip away into sleep.

-

Taichi is seventeen and still tired.

Yamato kicks his leg, something both he and Sora had become accustomed to doing throughout the years. He groans, lifts his head from his arms to look at his teacher, and the new student.

"Class." The woman calls, Taichi hadn't been paying enough attention to learn her name the past couple weeks school had been in. "This is Izumi Koushirou, you're new classmate. Be nice to him, please."

Taichi almost snorted.

Izumi is wearing a spotted red sweater.

He bows, which, Taichi things is extremely extra, thanks the teacher, and takes his seat at the only empty desk. The desk next to Taichi's. How lovely.

He sighs, and goes to bury his head in his arms again when Yamato kicks him _again._ "Don't, we already have a test coming up and I am not saving your ass again." 

He does snort at that. It's a bald faced lie, he says it everytime. But admittedly, Yamato isn't very fun to study with. Although it would be nice to see Takeru again.

It becomes increasingly difficult to attempt to pay attention to what the teacher is saying with the fuzz in his ears and shapes consuming his vision, and not to mention Izumi, who is, admittedly, very cute and sitting right next to him.

Yamato is furiously scribbling down notes next to him. Two sheets of paper, Taichi dimmly guesses that one is for him. He doesn't know what he would do without him and Sora.

Giving up, he rests his head back in his arms, grumbling out a soft 'I tried' when Yamato kicks him again. He feels eyes burning into the back of his head.

-

"So, what's in like being moved up a grade?"

Taichi sluggishly drags himself towards the voice with Yamato. The blond has a vice grip on his arm.

"Sora," He complains, letting go of the brunette the second they get to her. He slumps again Yamato dramatically. "Sora help me."

She gives him a cold look, one of her, you inter _rupted me_ looks, and both Yamato and Taichi realize Izumi is there at the same time. "Sorry-" Yamato backpedals immediately, grabbing Taichi once again. "Never mind, I've got him-"

Sora pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. "Its fine, Yamato, I was just asking Koushirou how he's feeling about being moved up." "And I'm doing fine, Sora, thank you." Izumi states softly. "I can go-"

"You're fine." Sora mumbles, and pulls Taichi out of Yamato's grip. "Stand, Taichi." Her tone gives him no room for argument, although he wouldn't have argued anyways. "Yes mother."

She smacks him on the back of his head for that.

She huffs, and turns back to Izumi, and if you looked at her now you would never be able to tell she had been irritated at all. "Koushirou, have you met them yet?" She asks, gesturing to the two boys. The shorter shakes his head a little. "No, but I do have at least one class with them."

Sora nods slowly. "Well, this is Ishida Yamato." She gestures to the blond. "And Yagami Taichi, our resident dumbass." 

Taichi, in question, snorts and elbows her side. She gives him a hard look. "Just call me Taichi please." He smiles at Izumi, and just as the redhead opens his mouth to speak someone shoves Taichi _hard_. 

He falls into Sora with an undignified squeak, who quickly rights him as Yamato's hand comes to rest lightly on his back. He whirls around to face whoever the hell shoved him, and the blond grabs his face. "He's not worth your time Taichi, just drop it, okay? He's already gone."

He bristles, and for a moment he wants to argue and go running through the halls, but he knows Yamato is right, and so he deflates, and his friends hands leave his face. "Fine."

Izumi looks painfully confused at why they were all so calm, aside from Taichi, like it wasn't unusual. It wasn't. "I'd better go." He says slowly, holding out his hand for Taichi to shake. He takes the smaller boys hand. "It was good to meet you, Yagami."

"Taichi, please." He let's an easy going smile cross his face, giving the redhead's hand a gentle squeeze. His eyes flash, head tilts in a way that makes his heart hammer in his chest and his cheeks flush. "Then call me Koushirou."

"I- deal." His smile grows wider, more genuine, and they let go of each others hands. Koushirou gives Yamato a similar goodbye, although without the exchange of given names, and hugs Sora goodbye.

When he walks away, Taichi knows he's _already_ falling hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here are the big inspos!:  
> Lemon boy  
> 888  
> I'll make cereal  
> Pigeon  
> Fool  
> Sweet tooth  
> And Lemon eyes by Meg Myers!
> 
> I hope you're enjoying this so far :)  
> If you notice any errors in any names please feel free to point it out! I'm still getting used to subbed names! Digimon will most likely have their dubbed names :)


	2. Bitter words and soft reassurances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Koushirou is really, really cute, and Taichi has a bad day.

"How was your day Taichi?" Koromon calls, bouncing up and down on the bed. Tanemon and Tsunomon await him eagerly as well.

"It was alright." He offers, dropping his bag full of home work next to his desk and flops on the bed, careful of the Gaurdians. "A cute boy moved up."

"Ooo!" Tanemon squeals, bouncing over to him. "What does he look like? What's his name? Did you get his number."

Taichi chuckles with his face buried in the mattress. "His name is Izumi Koushirou, he's got red hair and really dark eyes, they almost look black. And he's short, too. God he's adorable." 

Tanemon squeals again. "Did you talk to him? _Did you get his number?"_

"No I didn't get his number." He sighs. He should have done that. "And yes, he's Sora's friend. She introduced us and he's allowed me to use his given name." He can't keep the smugness out of his voice.

"That's great Taichi!" Koromon crows, bouncing over to him as well. "You haven't had any interests in well, anyone since Yamato a couple years ago."

"Ugh, yeah, dont remind me of that."

Tsunomon bumps his horn against him. "Its nothing to be ashamed of Taichi."

"I prefer not to think about it."

Koromon laughs. "Well that's okay. Any more info on Izumi?" 

"No, we can hear about this later, for now Taichi needs to do his homework and start studying for his upcoming test." Tsunomon sighs.

Both Koromon and Taichi groan at that.

-

The next day, Taichi drags himself to school without breakfast, a usual morning.

Yamato traps Taichi in a headlock the second he can, and gives him a _noogie._ Needless to say, he does _not_ like morning noogies.

"Did you get any sleep?" Yamato asks once he mercifully frees his friend.

"Yeah some." Taichi hums. She comes in dreams, he doesn't get much sleep. "You?"

"Some." Is his same response. "Takeru spent the night, he doesn't sleep well."

"I've missed him." Taichi smiles a little, remembering the bundle of sunshine that was Yamato's little brother.

The blond nods. "Me too, Taichi. Me too."

He opens his mouth to say more when he's interrupted by someone taking deep, rasping gasps behind him. He whirls around, eye brows raising into his hairline when he see's Koushirou, digging aggressively through his bag. He yanks out an inhaler and takes a deep puff. "Sorry, _hi."_ He pants, putting the inhaler away. 

"Hi Koushirou." Taichi chirps. "Are you wanting to walk with us?"

Koushiro's already red face flushes more. "If that's okay with you."

Taichi nods, and Yamato give a "yeah sure." Of confirmation. Koushirou _beams_. "Have you seen Sora anywhere?" 

Koushirou shakes his head, patting down his forhead with his sleeve. "No, I haven't yet."

"She probably came early for something." Taichi hums, holding his hands behind his head. "She never see's us in the morning."

Yamato sighs. "Yeah, that is true. But come on, class is starting soon and we dont want to be late _again."_

_-_

Taichi yawns, Yamato's foot is gently knocking against his ankle. Koushirou is sitting straight, giving their teacher every ounce of his attention while scribbling down notes. Yamato shifts, and pulls something from his bag which is sitting next to him.

"Here." He sighs, sliding a piece of paper over Taichi's desk. "Notes from yesterday, read them at some point." 

Taichi hums softly and folds the paper, stuffing it rather carelessly in his pocket. "Thanks, dunno what I'd do without you."

"I dont either Taichi."

He shoots his friend a smile and turns away from him, to look at Koushirou.

And god, Koushirou is adorable. He's so concentrated, eyes narrowed slightly as he writes down notes. Taichi, in all honesty, could probably watch him for the rest of class.

Of course, Yamato won't let him, he kicks his leg, telling him that he needs to get his eyes back to the teacher. Which, yeah, okay, he does need to do that before he gets yelled at and embarrasses himself, or before Koushiro catches him staring. He still shoots Yamato a glare anyways.

-

His feet skid across the ground, desperately trying to keep his balance. Don't fall over, _don't fall over._ He inhales sharply. someone grabs the front of his shirt, dragging him over to face him. "How does it feel to be a murderer, Taichi?" He asks. His breath stinks.

His hand curls into a fist, and he punches him right in the face.

-

When a commotion breaks out some ways away, Yamato has a sinking feeling that Taichi is involved. And once again, he's going to have to drag his friend out of that mess before a teacher gets involved.

Sora's at his side with Koushirou before he's even taken three steps in the direction of the fight. "Do you think its Taichi?" She asks, grabbing his arm. "Yeah." He sighs, and they all make their way over together.

It is, indeed, Taichi. He, and another student are rolling around on the ground, attempting to get each other down long enough to land another punch. 

He attempts to push himself through the crowd to get a hold of Taichi to drag him out of the fight as the other boy slams the brunette's head into the floor.

Sora's pushing through next to him with, admittedly, much more ease then he is. Koushirou trails behind her, eyes wide. 

They force their way through, and Yamato loops his arms under Taichi's and yanks him away from the other boy. Sora similarly pulls the upper class man away.

Koushiro lingers next to Yamato as he hauls Taichi to to his feet. "Come on." His voice is tense as he begins to drag him to the bathroom. "We need to get your face cleaned up."

Taichi leans against one of the sinks, staring intently into the mirror as Yamato digs through his bag for the rag he typically brings with him. 

"Are you hurt?" He hears Koushirou asks, and he shifts, turning to look at the other two. Koushirou is standing slightly taller on his toes, and Taichi is slightly slouched. 

"Not badly." He says softly, eyes flickering between the redhead and the mirror. "M'okay."

Koushirou tilts his head slightly, Yamato see's Taichi's face flush. "Are you sure? Your nose is bleeding." Taichi blinks, almost like he didn't even realize that it was. He quickly swipes at the blood, and Yamato groans irritatedly.

"Dont ruin your shirt." He huffs, pulling out the rag and wetting it using one of the sinks. "Use this, please."

He hands it to the other, and Taichi jokingly winks at him, and uses the wet rag to, rather aggressively, wipe away the blood.

"Taichi-" "Here." Koushirou sighs and takes the rag, dabbing at the others face, a lot more gently than he himself had.

Yamato doesn't think he'll ever see Taichi that red again.

While Koushirou does that, Yamato digs through Taichi's hair to see if he was bleeding from when his head was slammed down. He jerks, attempting to turn. "Yamato-"

"Stay still." Both he and Koushirou say at the same time. He huffs, but complies. 

"Is his head okay?" Koushirou asks after a moment of silence. "Yeah." Yamato steps back. "He's fine. Definitely not the worst fight."

Taichi snorts. "Not by a long shot Yamato."

Koushirou gives him a concerned look.

"So.. why did it even happen?" Yamato asks, leaning back against the sinks. Taichi blinks. "He called me a murderer."

Yamato feels his stomach sink. "Oh." 

Koushirou makes a soft, confused sound.

"Taichi." His voice is firm. He pushes himself away from the sink to grab his friends shoulders. "He is wrong, okay? You are not a murderer, not by a long shot." When Taichi doesn't look at him, he pulls him in for a tight hug. "I promise you."

Taichi shudders, and hugs Yamato back just as tight. 

Koushirou doesn't ask about it.

-

Taichi's phone buzzes on his desk and he groans, forcing himself off his bed to check it.

_Sora: we're meeting up with the group tonight at the park_

_Sora: Koushirou and Takeru will be there_

Taichi smiled, quickly typing back his response. He missed Takeru, he loved the kid like his own brother, and he couldn't deny his growing feelings for Koushirou. He was, admittedly, very excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love these boys, very excited to write Takeru haha. Opinions on this chapter? Please share them with me jancnenxs
> 
> Can you guess why Taichi gets called a murderer ;)?


	3. Late nights and deep regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group has a night out. Taichi has nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much completely abandoned trying to use Japanese school system, oops. Its complicated and I barely understand American school as it is, as I am homeschooled. So.. school in this is kinda wack, I'm never going to like,, elaborate on anything about it haha  
> Hope that doesn't take anything away from the fic
> 
> We in for a longer chapter todayyyy
> 
> Anyways, I apologize I'm advance for this

Taichi pulls out a slightly smaller backpack than the one he brings to school, and asks, gently, if Koromon wants to come with. The little creature squeals, bouncing around excitedly. "Yes yes yes! I can really come? It's been so long!"

Taichi rolls his eyes a little. He doesn't quite understand what's to exciting to him about sitting in his backpack for god knows how long, but nods nonetheless. "Yeah of course, that's why I asked you, but please, keep your voice down."

Koromon gives out a hushed apology, and Taichi just smiles at him and grabs a blanket to shove in the bottom of the backpack. Tanemon gives gives out a soft, irritated sound. "Why can't I ever go Taichi?"

He winces. "I- I'm sorry, I guess I just take Koromon because he's my guardian." He apologizes quickly. "I'll make sure to take you guys out more too, alright?"

Tanemon and Tsunomon both nod excitedly. Or, at least as well as they can, as they dont really have.. heads.

He carefully helps Koromon into his bag and pockets his phone, heading out the door.

-

It's around ten thirty-ish by the time he gets to the park. He hasn't seen Jyou, Mimi, and Takeru in ages. Sora, Koushirou, and Mimi are already there.

Mimi gets up from the bench she and Sora were sitting on with flourish, wrapping Taichi in a tight, warm hug. Oh how he's missed her.

"Hey, Mimi." "Taichi! How have you been?" She asks once they pull away, looking over every inch of him. "Good, I think." Is his response, he flashes her a smile. "What about you?"

"I've been great!" She gushes, dragging him over to where Sora and Koushirou sit. "I've missed you!" Taichi snorts. "Me too Mimi."

It has been far too long since they were all together.

Mimi takes her seat next to Sora again and Taichi opts to sit on the other bench with Koushirou, shooting the redhead a wink.

Conversation is easy and pleasant, although, Mimi does admittedly carry most of it. She's talkative, as usual. He's missed her. The only friendships he'd actively been able to maintain were his ones with Sora and Yamato, purely because they all went to the same school. Jyou, Takeru, and Mimi did not. And, because of their parents divorce, Taichi barely saw Takeru when we went over to Yamato's.

It continues on like that for a while until Yamato and Jyou arrive together, which means they're only missing Takeru.

Taichi stands to give Jyou a quick side hug, because, well, physical contact isn't exactly Jyou's thing and he'll respect that, even if he himself is overly touched starved.

Yamato attempts to give him another noogie, and he ducks away, dancing just out of reach.

And then Takeru is there, his face is flushed and he looks.. very out of breath. He flashes them a smile, and then fishes his inhaler out of his bag and takes a deep puff. After he puts it away he gives Yamato a tight hug, and then fucking _launches_ himself at Taichi.

He stumbles, snorting softly as he wraps his arms around Takeru. "Jeez Teeks, calm down." In reality, he doesn't mind it at all.

"Hey." Yamato complains, and yeah, Taichi definitely saw that coming. "Takeru you're _my_ brother, why did you jump on him."

"I just saw you this morning Nii-san, I haven't seen Taichi in foreverrrrr." Takeru laughs, legs wrapped around the brunette's waist. Yamato grumbles irritatedly, but doesn't argue on it further. 

"Jyou, Takeru, this is my friend Izumi Koushirou." Sora calls, and Taichi feels Takeru shift to look in her direction. "Oh, Nii-san told me about him!" Takeru chirps.

"Oh-" Koushirou squeaks. "He did?" "Just a little bit." Yamato confirms, sighing as he leans against Jyou.

"Nothing bad." Takeru hums, squirming out of Taichi's hold, and then launches himself at Yamato, who is pushed even further into Jyou. "Takeru-" Jyou quickly helps right Yamato again. 

Taichi snorts.

"Just basic things." Yamato huffs, shifting Takeru in his arms. "Takeru was at my house the night after we met, so.. I just filled him in on the day."

Koushirou nods a little, and then shakes Jyou's hand. "Its really nice to meet you all-"

"Takeru." Yamato says suddenly. "Did you walk here yourself? Or run." He pulls the thirteen year old away from him slightly, hands tucked under his arms with his legs are wrapped around his waist.

Takeru blinks, briefly glancing away from his brother. "Maaaaaybe?" Theres a beat of silence, and then, "does mom know about this?"

Takeru suddenly finds interests in the floor. "..yes?" 

"Takeru."

"Okay no." He groans. "But she would have never let me come out here if I asked her, and I missed everyone a lot and-" 

Yamato just sighs. "I get it Teeks, but you.. should not have come out here by yourself, just don't do it again, kay? At least tell me so I can walk with you. Also, I'm walking you home."

Takeru groans, but doesn't argue.

-

The night is quiet and just.. nice, and Taichi is sitting on the swings with Koushirou, watching Takeru and Yamato get into a play fight.

And well, Taichi keeps stealing glances at Koushirou, who still looks a little nervous at being put into the group like this. Taichi gets it. He wants to make him feel welcome.

"How are you liking everyone so far?" He asks, like he hasn't only met Koushirou a couple days ago. The redhead looks up at him. "Uhm, good so far. It's a little weird, you guys seem close."

"Yeah." Taichi rubs the back of his neck. "I bet it's weird being thrust into the group, in hindsight you probably should have at least met everyone separately, but, it's to late for that."

Koushirou sighs. "Yeah, but, overall it's been nice."

Taichi smiles. "I'm glad."

That delves them into silence. Or, well, as silent as it can be with Yamato and Takeru wrestling in the grass and the squeaking of the swings. But it's nice.

Taichi fiddles with his phone in his pocket, debating on whether he should ask Koushirou for his number. He can almost hear Tanemon trying her hardest to get him to work up the nerve to do so.

"Uh, Koushirou?" Okay, now going back now. Dont chicken out Taichi. The redhead looks back at him again. "Yes?" "Uhm, may I have your number? If you have a phone uh-" he probably should have asked about that before, but it's too late now.

Koushirou smiles. "Yeah, do you wanna put your number into my phone and I'll put mine into yours?" He asks, pulling his phone out of his pocket. Taichi nods rather enthusiastically.

He pulls out his own phone and pulls up his contacts, handing it over to Koushirou once he presses 'add new contact' the redhead does the same.

He punches in his number and names the contact _Taichi ;) ,_ and hands the phone back. Koushirou's just put his full name for the contact.

"Thanks." Taichi smiles, he knows he's going to change that later. Koushirou smiles back.

-

"Oh jeez, guys we should get home." Jyou sighs, gently nudging Yamato, who had been slowly, but surely falling asleep sitting on the bench, leaning against the blue haired boy. "Its gonna be one soon and we have school."

Takeru groans. "Its not even that late." He complains from where he's laying in grass. Yamato huffs. "Takeru not everyone has the same sleep schedule as you do."

Taichi sighs, standing up from the bench he had been sharing with Koushirou. The redhead stands up as well. 

Yamato attempts to drag Takeru to his feet, Sora and Mimi laugh. Taichi feels good. 

"Come on Teeks, we gotta get you home. Hopefully mom hasn't noticed you're not there." 

Taichi turns to Koushirou. "Are you gonna walk home?" He asks, he nods. "Yeah I dont live too far from here." That doesn't sit quite right with Taichi.

"Takeru _get up_."

He glances over at them, both Yamato and Sora are both trying to get Takeru to stand up, but he's completely limp. Mimi is laughing off to the side. Jyou looks on with fond amusement.

"I can walk you home." He offers before he even really realizes it. Koushirou blinks up at him. "That's not necessary, really, I'll be fine, but thank you."

_"Takeru I swear to God-"_

"Are you sure? It wouldn't be a big deal." 

Koushirou smiles gently. "Yeah, I'm sure, but I'll make sure to text you once I get home, okay?"

"Nii-san! Put me down!"

Taichi's heart flutters. "Yeah, okay, that sounds good."

Koushiro reaches up and gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze, then turns his attention to the others. Yamato has Takeru thrown over his shoulder. 

"Can we do this again?" Takreru asks. His question is directed to Sora. "Soon, please? I missed this, and maybe I can bring.. a couple of my close friends?"

Theres a moment of silence. "Yeah, if everyone is okay with that and wants to, that sounds good to me." Sora responds lightly.

Taichi would like that a lot.

-

The grass is changing colors. And shapes. Dull green shifts to electric blue, circles dance in the air, small hands grab the soccer ball. They roll it back. It sticks in the bushes.

"You're doing it wrong." a small voice says, warped and wavering. 

A small body hits the ground, the world goes grey. The soccer ball is picked up. He screams.

The world warps.

Sirens are loud, people are yelling, people are crying. Shapes burst in the air, it smells stale, stuffy and uncomfortable. Something is wrong.

_"What have you done?"_

It hurts.

That wasn't supposed to happen. 

_He just wanted to play soccer._

_"I'm sorry!"_

She looks so small in the hospital bed.

The line goes flat. The sound echoes, his mother is screaming.

Everything changes, the world gets darker.

Hikari is dead.

His cheek stings.

_"You're doing it wrong."_

_"You're doing it wrong."_

**_"You're doing it wrong."_ **

_SHUT UP._

_he didn't get to say goodbye._

_the last thing he told his dead sister was that she wasn't playing soccer right._

_he wishes he could tell her he was sorry._

**_"You're doing it wrong."_ **

**_"Just kick it Hikari."_ **

_SHUT UP TAICHI, JUST SHUT UP._

_She was sick, why couldn't he just wait?_

_You killed her Taichi._

The ground shakes, shapes overtake the world, he sobs.

_"How could you be so selfish?"_

_He doesn't know, but God he regrets it._

_He just wants his sister back._

She's standing in front of him, the world flashes in an erratic pattern of colors behind her, shapes growing bigger until they burst and are replaced with new ones. She looks so small and delicate, he wants to hug her and apologize, but he's frozen.

"Nii-san." She sobs, her face starts to _melt_. "I'm sorry I didn't do it right."

She touches his face. Her hands are so cold. "If I did it right would you have let me live?"

He screams.

-

A gasp tears it's way through his throat and jerks up, panic swelling inside his chest. Tears blur his vision, sweat clings to his skin. He pulls his knees up to his chest and buries his face in them.

He wishes he could tell her he was sorry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oopsie. Yes Hikari is dead. Sorry again.  
> Opinions? Please share them with me I'm desperate for comments haha.
> 
> I need to just write a Takeru centric fic, I love this boy too much, he really did steal every moment in was in


	4. Sleepless nights and gentle touches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tachi's exhausted, but at least he has his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for all the comments so far, they really mean a lot to me :)
> 
> If you have any questions about,, anything feel free to ask, I love responding to them!
> 
> Debating on going back and changing Koushirou to Koushiro,
> 
> -fuck I made a lot of mistakes haha, you could tell I was tired-

Taichi blinks, attempting to make his vision less fuzzy as he pushes himself out of bed, turning off the alarm clock. Tsunomon stirs, blinking bleary up at him. He was usually the only one of the three who got up with the alarm clock, Koromon and Tanemon always slept through it.

"You don't look very good." The Gaurdian comments quietly. "Maybe you should take a sick day?"

Taichi doesn't know how much longer he can stand being in his silent apartment. "No, no its fine. I- I think it's best for me to go to school." 

The creature gives him an odd look that morphs into understanding a moment later. "Oh, okay then, if that's what you think is best, I understand."

He gives Tsunomon a light smile and then digs through his closet for clothes.

"I wish you could take one of us with you." The Gaurdian continues. "I mean, I know you can't because there's no room in your backpack, but it would be nice, maybe someone at your school is one of our kids."

Taichi feels something ugly twist in his stomach at the thought of Tsunomon and Tanemon leaving. "Yeah, that's possible. Maybe next time the group gets together I can bring you or Tanemon and we can see its anyone there."

He doesn't want to.

_how could you be so selfish._

He inhales sharply, and starts to get dressed. There's shifting on the bed, he assumes Tsunomon turned around to give him privacy.

He glances, briefly, at the full length mirror on the other side of the room once he's dressed and winces at his reflection. He looks dead.

_just like Hikari is!_

_Shut up._

He sighs, running his hand through his hair. He should have showered, but he doesn't have the energy to do so. He's already dressed anyways.

"Are you sure your alright to go to school?" Tsunomon asks suddenly. Taichi turns to face him. "You look like you need more sleep.."

No, Taichi does not want to sleep, not with the possibility of the nightmares coming back.

"I'm fine Tsunomon, seriously."

"Very well, Taichi. You'd better get going, have a good day, and please, don't hesitate to lie about being sick if you need to get home for any reason."

Taichi just smiles. You know Tsunomon is worried when he encourages you to lie about something. "I will, I promise. I'll see you later." 

He shoulders his backpack, gives Tsunomon a wave, and then heads out.

-

Koushirou and Yamato are walking together once he gets there, so, of course, he has to force his way in the middle of them before they notice he's there and throw his arms around their shoulders.

The brief burst of energy he got from seeing his friends leaves him as quick as it came.

"You look like shit." Yamato sighs. He looks pretty tired himself. Taichi knows he prefers to go to bed before twelve. 

"I know." He smiles. Koushirou studies his face closely.

"Are you okay? You look absolutely exhausted." 

"Just stayed up a little too late." He lies airily, although he knows its not a great one, he doesn't really have any other excuses.

Koushirou sighs. "You look like you haven't got any sleep at all."

Taichi just shrugs, putting on what he hopes is an easy going smile.

Koushirou's eyes narrow, but he doesn't say anything else about it, so he considers himself off the hook.

-

Taichi's head dipped, lowering towards the cafeteria table.

A hand came to rest in his bushy hair. "I can't imagine how tired you are to be falling asleep here, considering just how loud it is." Sora sighs. Taichi hums softly in response.

Koushirou is sitting next to him, admittedly closer than he needs to be, so close that they're touching, and its.. really nice.

Sora's hands begin to run through his messy hair that he hadn't bothered to attempt to clean or brush in any way at all. 

He sets his arms on the table and rests his head on them. He is tired and Sora is definitely not helping.

"How late were you even up Taichi?" Yamato huffs. "We all know it's not unusual to be up after one."

Taichi shrugs lamely. "Dunno, didn't pay attention. Got a little sleep, woke up, didn't go back to sleep."

A hand comes to rest on his back, he assumes its Koushirou's. 

Yamato sighs. "Nightmares?" He asks, his voice is soft. Taichi shrugs. Koushirou rubs his back gently.

"Sorry Taichi."

"Don't pity me." He raises his head slightly go give Yamato a light glare.

He yawns.

He shifts slightly, closer to Koushirou, because he's warm and welcoming and Taichi really likes him. 

Koushirou's hand moves and wraps around him slightly. He smiles. "You should try to get some sleep, we'll wake you up before class if you do, okay?"

Taichi burrows his face deeper into his arms. "Yeah, okay, thank you."

-

A gentle smile graces Koushirou's face once Taichi falls asleep. He has no idea how he managed it, the cafeteria is.. _very_ loud, as Sora already said. He feels bad, it seems like Taichi got very little sleep, he wishes he could help more, lunch only lasts so long.

But he's so close, and Koushirou can't deny the flush that rises to his cheeks. He knows Sora will undoubtedly tease him about it later, but he can't get himself to care at the moment.

His hand rests on Taichi's shoulder, the one furthest away from him, and in all honesty he wouldn't mind having the brunette even closer to him. 

He felt a connection to Taichi when they met, that was undeniable, and from the very short time he's known him it only feels like they're getting closer. 

Sora's hand doesn't leave his hair as she talks to Yamato, what about, Koushirou isn't sure, he isn't paying enough attention to figure it out.

Distantly he wonders what Taichi's nightmare was about, and why Yamato and Sora had been so unphased by it. Worried, but not surprised.

He wonders if its a usual occurrence, like he assumes Taichi getting into fights is. - _He's still confused by that whole thing in the bathroom, but it doesn't feel like something he should ask about-_

He wonders just how close they are, how long they've known each other. Sometimes he feels like he's trespassing, but, so far, Taichi has tried to make him feel welcome.

It's been nice. He's really glad he's found them. 

Taichi shifts in his sleep, and for a moment he goes still, not wanting to end up waking him up, it's evident that he really needs sleep. 

Sora's hand leaves his hair, and he moves to run his own hand through it. Its unbelievablly fluffy, although admittedly a little greasy and ratty, but so _fluffy._

His fingers lightly scratch against his scalp, occasionally getting stuck on a knot, but its nice. This is.. really nice. He feels at peace. He cannot _wait_ to tell Tentomon about it later, he's sure the Gaurdian will be ecstatic to hear about it.

He feels Sora's eyes on him and does his best to ignore it, and just focus on the moment before its over. He really hopes they'll be more like this in the future.

He feels extremely bad when lunch ends and he has to shake Taichi awake, watching the teen look at him with hazy, confused eyes. 

And then afterwards they go they're separate ways, but Taichi is all he can think about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhm, I'm planning on explaining why Tentomon is child level and the others are baby 2 soon, dont uhhhh, dont worry about that haha.
> 
> I wanna write something Takeru centric but I don't have any ideas ugh.
> 
> Anyways its gonna be 2 am soon and I'm tired. This is kinda short but,, its,, fine I ran out of things to write
> 
> Hope u enjoyed :) comments are very much appreciated!


	5. Late night ramblings and worried friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like Sunflower, vol. 6 captures these two's softness pretty well. I love them. Anyways, this is the 888 by Cavetown inspired chapter that I've been super excited to write.
> 
> Heads up, there is underage drinking in this one. Taichi gets drunk babeyyyy, and he has a tough time.
> 
> Also this is set a few days after the last chapter :)

"What are you doing?" Koushirou asks, and there's a moment of silence, and then Taichi's voice comes through the phone, slightly crackly. "Math."

Koushirou gives a noncommittal hum. "Yamato writes down your notes for math?"

"Yeah." There's shifting on the other end. "Are you good at math?" 

"I'd say I'm alright. Computers and stuff are more my thing." He sighs, tapping his pencil against his social studies sheet. "What about you?"

Taichi snorts. _-thats something he does a lot and Koushirou thinks it's so cute-_ "Oh I'm utter shit. I think I'd fail it without Yamato helping. I like music though."

Something about him liking music is so very Taichi.

"Do you play anything?"

"Uh." Shifting. "Yeah a little bit of guitar, why?"

"Just wondering." Koushirou yawns. 

There's a moment of silence, and then, "do you want to hear me play something?"

Koushirou lights up. "Yeah, if you're sure you want to."

"Of course I do dummy, thats why I asked." Taichi laughs, and then there's more shifting, Koushirou assumes he's getting the guitar.

After a moment, Taichi sighs. "Kay, got it, you ready?" "Yeah." Koushirou smiles. "Im excited."

Taichi just hums in reponse, and begins to play.

The melody is sort of.. summery? Sort of a soft punk, Koushirou guesses. Its slightly choppy and not something he recognizes at all, but loves it nonetheless.

"Wow." Koushirou breaths once Taichi is done. "That was really good, what song was it?"

"Uh, well, it may be something I made up myself?" Taichi's voice comes out soft and nervous. "Its- it's obviously not great but- but it's not finished so-"

"It was great Taichi." He smiles. He wishes the other could see it. "I really liked it."

He can practically hear Taichi glowing.

-

"I wanna get drunk."

Its getting close to eleven when Taichi says that and he startles. Over the course of the night he'd gotten more and more quiet, more reserved, like something was wrong, but denied it whenever Koushirou asked.

"What?" He sits up straight in concern.

"Gonna get drunk. Be right back." He hears the chair squeak as Taichi undoubtedly gets up.

"Taichi I don't think-" he hears a door open and close, worry filling him to the brim. This.. can't be good.

"Taichi?"

Nothing. 

He doesn't know exactly how long it takes until Taichi comes back, an hour at the least. He's giggling once he does.

"Taichi? Can- can you tell me what your address is?" He's extremely worried about the other teen hurting himself in any way. 

There's no response.

"Taichi?"

"You wann' hang out with me?" He asks sluggishly. Koushirou sighs. "Of course i do, please tell me your address."

Taichi, sluggishly, tells him his apartment complex and number, occasionally breaking off into fight of giggles for no real reason.

"Okay, thank you, I'm coming over, okay? Don't do anything you shouldn't, please be careful." 

"Okayyyy, d'you wann' a drink too?"

"No thank you." He sighs, finger hovering ober the hang up button. "Seriously, be careful." He presses the button without a second thought and looks up the adress he'd been given.

"Do you need me to come with you?" Tentomon asks suddenly. He'd been quiet throughout the call, but no that Koushirou was no longer on it he was able to speak. 

"I'd really love to have you there but I can't fit you in my backpack anymore." Koushirou sighs. Ever since he'd changed, having something to do with their bond that he didn't entirely understand, he hadnt been able to take him places for the most part. He really needs a bigger bag. "Sorry buddy."

"Thats alright!" Tentomon responds immediately. "Just be careful, okay?" 

Koushirou smiles and stands after pocketing his phone, placing his hand on Tentomon's head. "Will do."

-

He knocks on the door softly, worried that Taichi won't end up answering it.

He does, the door swings open, and there Taichi stands, face flushed, eyes hazy, and a bottle of something Koushirou doesn't want to look at for long in his hand.

"Hi." Is all he says, and then gently grabs Koushirou's hand and pulls him to his room.

The room is pretty bland, there's the guitar from earlier discarded in the corner, a full lenth mirror on the other side of the room. Be notices Taichi's phone on the desk, still on the call screen. He has Koushirou's contact as 🐞💕. He feels his face flush. Taichi let's go of his hand and just collapses into his bed. "Haven' had anybody over in foreverrr."

Koushirou doesn't repond. His gaze drifts to the photo frame on the desk, face down. Against his better judgment, he lifts it up to look.

Its of a young girl with short, brown hair, and a much younger Taichi with his arm thrown around her shoulders. They look happy.

There's a weight on his shoulder, and he glances over to where Taichi's head now rests. He doesn't say anything, just reaches over and gently pushes the photo back down. Koushirou let's it go.

"Sorry." He sighs. Taichi doesn't respond.

He just pulls away from Koushirou and leaves the room. He debates on following him, unsure if he should or if he made him upset, when a loud thump comes from another room, and the sound of running water starts. 

He sighs and leaves Taichi's room, heading to the bathroom, knocking gently on the wall, because the door is open, and steps inside.

The shower is running, and Taichi is struggling to stand up in the tub, Koushirou assumes he fell.

He sighs and sits on the closed toilet as Taichi gives up and just sits down, throwing his legs over the side as the water runs over him.

And then he bursts out into a fit of giggles. "I fell." He states dumbly. Koushirou smiles. "I figured."

There's a moment of silence, and then Taichi goes into a story about how once when he was eleven he and Yamato were supposed to be watching Takeru and they lost him, but ultimately has to stop due to constant laughing fits. 

Its cute. Koushirou wishes he wasn't drunk. 

He wonders how much Taichi's had to drink.

He's seemed to have given up completely on telling the story and is trying to get back up again. Eventually, he gets out, and us thoroughly soaked. The water is all over the floor, the shower is still running.

Koushirou gets up to turn it off as it becomes evident that Taichi wont. An arm hooks around his own and drags him back to his room. Koushirou sighs. Taichi is getting him wet.

And then Taichi is trying to get out the window.

He panics, shooting forward to grab his arm as he swings one leg out the window. If he gets out he'll fall, and most likely wouldn't survive it. Shit.

"Taichi-"

His other leg is out the window, Koushirou wraps his arms around him entirely. He manages to pull him back inside, purley because Taichi doesn't have any sense of balance.

Relief fills him as they topple to the floor.

"You can't do that!" He cries, the whole front of his shirt is drenched. "Taichi you would have _died_ _."_

Taichi laughs dryly.

Its not a good thing to hear. 

He chokes out a sob, Koushirou startles. Taichi gets up of the floor, and he follows quickly afterwards, making sure to close the window.

"Fuck." Taichi breaths, pacing around the room. Koushirou isnt sure what he's supposed to do.

"Taichi?-" 

And then he screams. Koushirou flinches as Taichi drops to his knees. He swallows around the lump in his throat and sits beside him, gently setting his hand on the others back.

Taichi is sobbing, hands tangled in hair so hard Koushirou guesses that it has to hurt. He gently tries to coax his hands out of his hair. He's unsure what exactly caused this, but he's going to do his best to help.

Taichi scrambles into his arms, body shaking with the intensity of his sobs. He holds him close. He can hear Taichi just repeating _"im sorry."_ Over and over again. He doesn't know why. He doesnt ask.

-

Once Taichi cried himself out Koushirou helps him get changed and into bed, because its obvious that he needs sleep. They have school tomorrow, but he doubts either of them are going. Taichi doesn't want him to leave.

Taichi sniffles miserably, and reaches for him. Koushirou doesn't hesitate to climb into the bed with him. Taichi curls into him immediately.

His hair is still damp, but Koushirou runs his hand through it anyways.

He isn't sure what time it is when they fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I don't like this chapter at all, it did turn out like I wanted it to, but I hope you enjoyed it anyways.
> 
> Im starting on a takeru fic :)


	6. Explanations and cuddles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha I'm giving up on adding a chapter summary and titles are hard. 
> 
> Anways hope you enjoy this one :)
> 
> Ugh help, at the time I'm writing this part of the notes I've been in the sun for 6 hours and am literally dying
> 
> Haha 7 hours in the sun ;) its hot as hell where I live, I'm sunburnt.

Koushirou sighs, threading his fingers through Taichi's unruly hair. It was about 8:30 am, and the brunette's head was tucked under his chin, still fast asleep.

From what Koushirou knows, Taichi doesn't get good sleep. He's glad that he can can get at least a little now.

His phone buzzes, he shifts, turning it on. The battery is low, he didn't bring a charger.

_Soraaa: are you not coming to school today?_

_Soraaa: Yamato hasn't seen you or Taichi._

He sends a quick text back, explaing that no, he wouldn't be there, because Taichi was going to be hungover and it was better they skipped. 

_Soraaa: damn making moves, good for you_

He rolls his eyes and turns off his phone to conserve battery and sets it beside him, mentally noting to keep track of it.

He hopes Tentomon isn't worried about him not coming home.

His eyes drift to what he assumes are stuffed animals Taichi had, at some point, knocked off the bed in his sleep. They're cute, Koushirou distantly wonders where Taichi got them. His phone buzzes again.

He picks it back up.

_Soraaa: but seriously take care of him for me? I worry about him_

A small smile tugs on the edges of his lips, and types out _of course._

Hair brushes his chin as Taichi shifts, a small, pained groan leaves the other boys mouth, brown eyes flickering open. Koushirou tenses. He doesn't know how Taichi will react to their current situation.

Taichi blinks hazily, and when his eyes land on Koushirou he goes bright red, eyes growing wide. Koushirou's hands leave him in a heartbeat and he sits up, movements panicked and choppy, he sways slightly.

He opens his mouth to apologize.

"I'm sorry." Taichi beats him to it. He's facing the wall so Koushirou cant see his face, but his voice is wobbly and croaky. "Fuck- I'm really sorry- I-I-"

"Hey." Koushirou sits up on the bed. He wishes he could see Taichi's face, read his emotions. "Why are you apologizing? I should be the one who's sorry."

Taichi turns to loom at him. He looks so tired, face red, but no longer from embarrasemt. "But i-"

"You were drunk and didn't really realize what you were doing, I get it, its okay. If I was uncomfortable with being in bed with you I wouldn't have gotten in, seriously. I thought it was _nice."_

Taichi blinks owlishly. A guilty look quickly comes across his face. "Shit- why- why did I do that?" He pushes himself off the bed, stumbling slightly and Koushirou scrambles up after him in case he falls. "I'm sorry about getting drunk too. I- I don't know why I did that." He presses the palms of his hands against his eyes.

Koushirou sighs. He won't say its okay, because it wasn't. "I- I'm just glad that you're not hurt." He settles on, because he isn't sure what else he can say. Taichi makes a small, miserable sound in the back of his throat.

"I'm sorry." He says again, the tone of voice is so unlike anything Koushirou had heard from him before, aside from the previous night. "Im just really sorry that you had to see and deal with me like that. I shouldn't have done that to you."

"I guess you're wondering what that was all about?" He continues, and something ugly, terrified and curious twists inside Koushirou's stomach. He did want to know, of course, he was a curious person by nature, but he didn't want Taichi to feel like he was obligated to tell him anything.

The brown haired teen stumbled to the other side of the bed and picked up a round pink thing from of the floor, and then made his way over to his desk, lifting up the photo.

"This picture is of me and my sister, Hikari." Theres a heavy undertone of guilt in his voice. Koushirou hates it, he hates it so much.

"She uhm.. she died, when she was five."

Koushirou goes still. Thats.. so young.

"She was sick, and my parents- they left, I- I still don't know why to this day." His voice is thick with emotion, Koushirou yearns to tell him to stop, but he cant make seem to get himself to do so. He feels frozen. 

"And I just wanted to play soccer. So I.. I took her to the park with me because I didn't want to leave her alone while she was sick." His finger slides over the photograph, Koushirou moves to stand next to him. His eyes are wet.

"So I tried to play soccer with her. And I just- I-I just kept telling her that she was _doing it wrong,_ and then she collapsed." His hands are shaking, he sets down the photo. "Some kids mom called 911 and then let me call my parents with her phone, they were so mad at me." 

He laughs dryly, gripping his hair in his hands. Koushirou steps closer and gently wraps an arm around his shoulders. "She didn't make it, obviously. She died because I was too stupid and selfish to wait for my parents to get home to play soccer. And to my parents it's like they lost us both. I'm pretty sure they hate me now, they're never home. I had to learn to take care of myself at the age of nine, to cook and do my own laundry, get myself to school. I spent weekends at Sora's and then later Yamato's."

He takes a deep, shuddering breath and Koushirou see's the tears begin to fall. "They told people they had no kids, whenever anyone was over I was banished to my room like a sick little secret. I fucked up all of our lives with my selfishness. I killed my own sister."

Koushirou pulls his arm away and gently tugs Taichi so that he faces him. "You didn't kill her, your parents should have never left her home alone, its not your fault."

He feels so bad, he wishes he could do something to take all of the pain away, to make it better, but he knows it'll stay forever.

Taichi sobs brokenly, sinking to the floor, and Koushirou follows suit. He gently pulls the brunette into his arms, allowing to him to sob into the redhead again.

By the time he's done, Koushirou's shirt is damp and Taichi's face is red and puffy.

"My head is killing me." He mumbles. "Im really hungover."

Koushirou smiles gently, running his fingers through the others bushy hair, something he's been wanting to do more wnd more since the first time he did it in the cafeteria. "I figured." Taichi leans into his touch, but pulls away after a moment and forces himself to stand, digging a bottle out of the desk and swallows two pills dry.

"Painkillers." He says softly as he puts them away. Koushirou stands as well, and after a momment of hesitation wraps his arm around the others waist.

Taichi's face goes red. Koushirou laughs.

They spend the rest of the day cuddled together on the couch, watching almost anything that they think will make them laugh.

He kisses Taichi one the cheek before he leaves and bolts before he has a chance to react.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly wanted to write them angsty parts better, but it is what it is.
> 
> This came out later then I wanted it to, but uh oh well I guess, I was busy.
> 
> These boys r soft for each other and I love them.
> 
> Anyways, off to work on Takeru fics, hope you enjoyed :)
> 
> Any spelling mistakes are probably bc i was heat exhausted

**Author's Note:**

> Come yell at me on Twitter! @1NKY_GH05T!


End file.
